Tendency to deny own wishes to avoid being too needyĪvoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.Put partner on a pedestal, underestimate personal qualities and overestimate his/hers.Believes must work hard to keep the partner interested.Very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions.
Fears that small acts will ruin the relationships.Lets the partner set the tone of the relationship.Excessive thinking about the partner daily.Not expressing what’s bothering him/her, expect you to guess.Expresses insecurities, worries about rejection.
Wants a lot of closeness, you fear you want more than your partner does. AnxiousĪnxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back. This is sometimes referred to in attachment literature as the “dependency paradox”: The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward. Attachment principles teach us that most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. You need someone to meet your needs, you are not too needy. → Attachment theory teaches that controlling your own emotional needs and soothe yourself in the face of stress is simply wrong. → Among adults, the prevailing notion is still that too much dependence in a relationship is a bad thing.
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